Exactly! I do think it’s harder, though, when that person is very close to you—someone you somehow feel responsible for (ie, adult children)… but God! 🙏
Excellent description of the problem (me! 🥴). I have been this person trying to fix others rather than loving and supporting them, wherever they are in their journey. My shift in perspective now has more clarity, thanks to your insightful writing.
Love this reframing of the vertical versus horizontal relationship dynamic. That moment when impatience flips someone from companion to project happens so subtly, and its wild how often it masquerades as help. The distinction between offering presence versus pressure cuts deep, becasue pressure almost always comes from needing them to relieve our discomfort, not from genuine care. Been guilty of treating people like uncompleted tasks while telling myself I was being supportive.
I love how you think, Hayley. I like your perceptive insights, suggesting what our true attitudes and behaviors might be even as we work hard to project a godly image.
“Respect for the mystery of their process…” That word “respect” is eye-opening for me.
It adds a kind of lightness for me, seeing that God is at work in the mystery that is their life, doesn't it?
Exactly! I do think it’s harder, though, when that person is very close to you—someone you somehow feel responsible for (ie, adult children)… but God! 🙏
You are exactly right! That sense of enmeshment really is hard to break free from.
Excellent description of the problem (me! 🥴). I have been this person trying to fix others rather than loving and supporting them, wherever they are in their journey. My shift in perspective now has more clarity, thanks to your insightful writing.
Love this reframing of the vertical versus horizontal relationship dynamic. That moment when impatience flips someone from companion to project happens so subtly, and its wild how often it masquerades as help. The distinction between offering presence versus pressure cuts deep, becasue pressure almost always comes from needing them to relieve our discomfort, not from genuine care. Been guilty of treating people like uncompleted tasks while telling myself I was being supportive.
It’s incredible how easy it is to think of people as your task isn’t it. Thank you for your honesty about falling into that trap as well.
I love how you think, Hayley. I like your perceptive insights, suggesting what our true attitudes and behaviors might be even as we work hard to project a godly image.
Thanks Ruth. I’m just so done projecting. It’s exhausting. Thanks for the encouragement.