I've been contemplating ending my life for a few years now, but lately things have been bad. I think the world is such an awful, cruel place. and I don't want to be alive and be a part of that. I am nowhere near a perfect christian. infact, these last few weeks I have been under major attack, and have been questioning whether I should still call myself a christian. I haven't had an easy life, its been struggle after struggle with me. but I thought the god I believe in would maybe just give me a break, or one good thing to hold onto and to keep me happy. JUST ONE. but it hasn't happened. I have goals for myself, but when I sit back and look at them, I always find myself asking, is it worth it? are the constant struggles, constant heart breaks, constant let downs, are they worth it? my answer is no. if you could just give me words of encouragement, I need them more now then ever. if not, at this point.. that's what I expect. and please pray for me.