Hey girls, I haven't posted in a long time, so I thought I'd put this on here for y'all... I wrote it about two months ago now
Thursday, August 23, 2012
This is my testimony and a decree to you:
These past few weeks have consisted of hearing, learning and rapidly changing. Until now I have not been living. Until now I have not followed Christ. I heard what he had to say, read various things in the Bible (once in a grand while), listened to sermons or chapel speakers. Yes, my religion is Christian, but I have not acted like one. I did the right things to please my peers, helped people with their problems and found my calling to be a Teen Counselor when I grow up. I’ve known the right answers to my questions: pray to God, trust in God, have faith in God, call on God’s name in times of trouble and times that are good, praise God everywhere, in everything, listen to what He tells me. What was all of that worth? Nothing. I never truly did any of those things. Sure, I physically did those things, but that’s it. Did I do them wholeheartedly? No. Out of reverence to God? No. To please God because I was being a “good Christian example” for others? I thought so, but no. To make myself look good, feel good and develop a good reputation? Yes.
No longer will I bejust a listener. I will hear God and acknowledge Him. I will be a Christ-follower, not a Christ-I-hear-you-but-this-doesn’t-suit-my-taste. No longer will I do things for myself, to make myself feel good, to get a good reputation. I will do them for my Heavenly Father, who loves me so much that he gave up His son, His own flesh and blood, so that I have a way to be with Him eternally. When I do things for the Lord that is what will fill me up and give me nourishment. The reputation I should have is a young woman of God. Not one of a hypocrite who only talks-the-talk. Now it is time to walk. Not crawl or drag behind.
As much as people think or say, there is no middle ground with God. You’re either in or you’re out. I’ve been in, but Satan has had such a grip on me that I myself didn’t even know the half of it, until this very moment as I write to you. I’ve held God’s hand and He has picked me up countless times. I have never truly embraced Him until now. I always thought I was just slow at getting God’s was messages and that things didn’t click until much later. Not the case.
The thing is, I neverfully asked God into my heart. I asked, but I had conditions. There was a line drawn between the things I let God into and the things that were shoved into a closet to be kept away and untouched forever. I’ve always been the type of person to bottle things up and push things in my life aside. I used the same excuses every time: God, I can’t right now because I’m busy helping this person with their faith; There’s too much going on at school and in my social life; My parents have these things going on and the house is chaos right now; I have time, I’ll worry about myself later; and so on. All of those are lame and inexcusable. Those were the times I should have really turned to God and given situations over to Him to deal with accordingly. I just had to take things into my own hands; which in turn led to screw-ups and huge messes. I can do all things through Christ… that sound appealing to me.
I didn’t ask, but God broke my heart for what breaks His. I didn’t know it at the time though. Eventually I surrendered to God and began inching out of my comfort zone. I have moved on to actual steps now. Far too long have I been trying to do God’s job. Of course, it blew up in my face. If humans were meant to do the things God does, then He wouldn’t be here. We wouldn’t need him. We have our part to play and God has His. No ifs, ands or buts. There is a very thick line drawn between God’s to-do list and mine. What power do I have to step in front of God and attempt to take over? Absolutely none!
Lately I have actually been listening and obeying God when I receive convictions. I have been knocking down bad habits over the past month, and when I fall I have not given up. I am going to make mistakes for sure. Some will be bigger and more long-term than others. I have vowed to change my attitude toward others. My views on everything have changed to be more God-centered. What I fill my eyes and ears with directly affects my relationship with God. If there is something to be said, I will find a way to say it. A video I watched last night called Silence Is Deadly filled me with shame and conviction. No longer will I keep my mouth shut when I should be speaking up. Shame on me every moment I deny my Lord and Savior. There is no reason to keep hidden the One who gave life, Who saves, Who unconditionally loves, Who has our name graven on His hand, Who gives us His holy and glorious Word and Who by grace and faith in His son Jesus Christ gives us salvation to eternal life.
Before you and God Above, I hereby devote my life to God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit. I promise to serve, love and live in His Holy Name. I promise to fight the Good Fight and stand up for my faith in Jesus. I promise to turn to God in all things and follow His command whether I like what I hear or not. I promise to remain in Him always so that I may be a sheep guided by my Shepard to the right hand of the Throne.
I ask for prayer as I have turned my life completely over to the Triune God, to hold true to my word and to receive guidance from my Father, embracing him all the way.
Christ be with you both now and forevermore.
Elisabeth Irene Léger