Hey girls! So you should know about me is that I have always been a tomboy. Recently though, I am realizing this is not what I want.
I have been watching the girls I have grown up with and I am beginning to feel like I am missing out on something. Something big...spectacular even. I think these pangs of wishful thinking came when I saw this guy from my church ask this newer girl to this youth group dance coming up. Usually, I would have gagged or something but then I realized something. Not less than a month ago, this guy was one of the sloppiest, most trouble maker of a guy I knew. He never cared about his looks and was always thinking up some witty remark to start up an argument. In other words, he was a tad bit worse than me. (And I shamefully admit that.) From the time this girl joined our group though, he has changed. And I mean like COMPLETELY! His appearance, attitude, everything! It was like this girl turned him around for the good. Made him a better person...
Watching her gracefully walk off to giggle with her girl friends in a corner while he blew out a sigh of relief and nearly tripped on his own feet really made me...oh, I don't know. Think I guess. This is probably all coming out the wrong way but for the first time ever, I didn't see the "alpha feminine girls" as weak. I mean, she completely transformed this guy who everyone - including his own parents - thought was a hopeless wreck!
Ever since that moment, I have been paying more attention to her and her friends who I use to think were a disgrace to all girls out there and have been noticing my opinion completely change about them. What I use to see as weak about them, is actually now some of their strongest of qualities. They act like the ladies God made them to be. They are confident, positive about life, graceful, inspiring, kind, modest yet still magnets to the human eye... you get the picture. And they carry themselves like they are the most magnificent prize you can imagine - and NOT at all in a vain way. The result to this is amazing really! Adults respect them more, boys go absolutely out of their way to assist them, girls look up to them and see them as great role models, and all in all, well...they have it better than me.
I don't know really what I am asking but long and short of it all, I need some help in the feminine department. I want to be the WOMAN God made me - not the "half boy, half wild beast" I have turned myself into. Please help. What should I pay more attention to? What should I do?
Forever in your dept,
The one and only me...