GG 101- Step Three

Step three of God Girl could not have come up at a more opportune time! It is all about a girl who knows happiness and coincidentally... I was bawling SUPER hard when I began the teaching! As I went further into it though I began to calm down. It began with a theoretical gift of $1,000... and then one million dollars. I instantly noticed how with the million dollars I felt more secure. Like what I really used it on would be more efficient. Despite this though I saw that I would have used it for mostly myself. I would hope that in the end it would help others also but, I just wasn't sure. When I thought about how happy I am on an average day I said about a six on a scale of one to ten. Most of my days lately have been amazing! But... I am still plagued with racing thoughts a lot. I get worried about a lot of things I see from a distance that really don't pertain to me. When Hayley started talking about lie I pinpointed a few that had been, and still are, in my life today. From those lies often springs fear. When I become afraid of something I do drastic things. I always have. I guess you could say it's my "fight or flight" mentality kicking in. Either way, the Lord gives us a spirit of courage. I need to run to the Lord with those lies and fears. He will know how to deal with them and get me back on my feet :) When the teaching began talking about how I could change my thoughts to help change my perspective on life I realized that my general thoughts about life have already changed. I guess I just never realized it but... I really look at life in a positive way now. It's literally nothing short of a miracle that I believe I deserve to live and live well now. I almost cannot fathom how much I have changed. Then Hayley touched on something that I have recently been struggling with: forgiveness and grudges. I try, try, and try again but I still get these negative, judgmental, and hindering thoughts in my head. I still want revenge, grief, and yes, sometimes even pain, to be fall those that have done me wrong. I do end up letting it go and moving on. But I want those thoughts to stop. I do not enjoy being angry and upset at others. I want to be happy and show them true love. But I cannot because of my own short comings. I decided to do two challenges from this teaching. I have already begun "Getting over it" and I never realized how many negative things I was still holding on to. Not just unforgiveness either. I know that the Lord and I are going to have a few "serious talks" about those things in my life! "Toss your thoughts" I have not gotten to do yet (I need some stones) but I am so excited to toss everything into that stream! I know it will bring a huge relief!! At the very end Hayley talked about the Armor of God. For the past couple mornings I have been putting my armor on at the beginning of the day and it has been helping. Big thanks yet again to the lovely Hayley DiMarco :)