Marriage = Divorce or Life-long Joy?

I posted this blog a few days ago, and it was really raw and didn’t make much sense – I based it completely on my emotions at the time, without really thinking through how I should communicate what God had spoken into my heart. So here we go again – hopefully this edit will make more sense to everyone here <3

So, recently I found out that another couple that I truly had a lot of respect for, are getting divorced. I followed their online movement of home workouts for just over a year now, and through their blogs on their site, they shared their lives almost completely with their little online community. The reason I had so much respect for them, is that the woman (from Czech) was a nude model when she was a teen / young adult. This was the only way she could earn a decent living, and she thought that there just was no other way. She hated herself and had no self-esteem, realising that she had thrown her dignity and her body away. She eventually met this man who was, at the time, a tourist from Canada. They hit it off really well, and dated long distance for quite some time (2 years, if I’m not mistaken). In this time, he encouraged her to leave her ways and got her to believe that she is beautiful, and that she is worth more than she was giving herself credit for. With his help, she found a job, and took back her life. That’s when she decided to start this online community, to encourage and motivate women to love themselves and to take control of their lives – not letting society decide who and what we should be. This couple is by no means Christian (from what I understand), but the fact that she left behind such a horrid life, and made a success of herself, and has since helped so many women to realise how beautiful each and every one of us is.

Their reasons for divorce, in my mind, are atrocious. They came to realise that they’ve become more like best friends than a married couple. The love is still there, the respect, etc. And while they are now still in contact every day, they feel it is best that they move on with their lives and learn to live independently.

This broke my heart. I’ve always thought that it would be best to marry a man that you can call your best friend as well as your soul mate. To me it only makes sense that basing your relationship on friendship, is what will carry you through the hard times, it’s what will ensure that you always have great times together, and that there will always be that element of excitement to share your lives with one another. (Just my opinion)

What had me emotional and angry enough to write this post, was that people are getting divorced for the most pathetic reasons. It seems as though divorce has become somewhat of a vice for some people – they get married, and when they’re bored or meet someone new, “Hey, let’s just get divorced!” It’s like marriage is nothing more than a day-to-day dating relationship.

I very quickly became so angered by all of this, that I felt that I’d rather never get married – if it’s happening so easily to people who seem to have such stable and loving relationships, then it could happen to me too, and I just refuse to be another sad and sorry statistic. I really resented marriage as a whole, but that’s when God tugged at my heart and whispered a truth into my heart:

If I keep my eyes on Him and always seek confirmation from Him then that will not happen to me. If God starts lifting those little red flags in my heart and mind about the man in my life, then (no matter how painful it might be), I should ask Him exactly why He is doing this, and follow His path for me – He does know best, after all. I wrote an earlier post, stating that God is your man, and it became clear to me that not only is He the perfect man for every woman, but that He will provide for each of us, a man on earth to give us the same love and support that He offers us. The only way we can be certain that we will find this true happiness, though, is to leave behind what we want sometimes, to follow what He wants for us – and yes, sometimes this does mean that you will have to leave behind the man that you believe is your soul mate.

 God does not seek to hurt us, but to prevent us from greater pain in the future. What He asks you to do now, may feel painful and may make you feel hopeless, but always know that in the long run, He will have spared you the grief of even greater pains (in this case, and ugly and messy divorce).

Girls, let’s all keep our eyes on Him, and always keep in mind that what we want is not always what is right for us. Our Heavenly Father knows how to meet our needs – both on the earth, and in the spiritual realm. With our eyes set on Him, we will experience an abundant and joyful life, and we will know that we are, every single one of us, beautiful and worth so much more than society says we are.

I hope this message reaches each and every girl that is going through some tough times in a relationship, or doubts her beauty.

Lots of love to all of you

Allie