This year, I have been noticing that my friends have more fun with their friends then they do with me. I'm not envious, but I wonder where I go wrong. I am not a very playful person. I don't like to tease people. But all of my good friends seem to enjoy that kind of fun. Being teased and teasing back. (Ex. Water Gun Chase). The more I try to be outgoing, the more I feel I am straying away from God. But when I am myself, it seems my friends drift away. I know God has a plan for me. However, I feel as if no one will understand me anymore. That everyone will leave me behind.
I recall one time that my best friend once said "You're so boring! Why can't you be like (person)?" She said it as a joke, but I took it quite seriously. I also remember another one of my friends was crying and she didn't tell me why. But when girls she didn't even know came up to ask her if they could do anything, she openly told them everything that happened.
I feel like a terrible friend and I don't know what to do. Sometimes I think the people around me would have a better life if I wasn't around.
I lived with my mother awhile back and my step-father had a drinking problem. It got to be so annoying that when my Dad's girlfriend moved in with him, it was a miracle. Now that I live with my Dad, my step-dad has stopped drinking. Completely. As if he didn't have a problem in the first place. Now they also have a lot of money to spend. And while I live here, my Dad and his girlfriend are having big money problems. I also recall my dad's girlfriend saying, "Sorry I am not a good mother. I wasn't expecting to raise a teenager." That made me feel terrible. I don't want to burden anyone.
Sorry for the terrible grammar, but please help. I really don't know what to do.